I’ve been thinking lately about the difference between someone doing something wrong versus my feeling that I was wronged. Going back a few years, I was managing an apartment complex, and I thought doing a pretty good job. But there was one tenant who was lying, manipulating and backstabbing; the very definition of antisocial personality disorder. The fact that she did these things was indisputable and by any moral definition short of Nihilism, it was wrong. However, I found myself often feeling angry about her actions when they were directed towards me. I took a personal offense, even though I knew she was this way with everybody. I began seeing a pattern in my spiritual life where her “attacks” would occur at the very time something good spiritually was going on. It became predictable. One day I had a great conversation on the phone with one of our bishops, very encouraging and full of Godly praise. Shortly after that, my theological mentor called. As I was relating the phone call, I said that it was about time for the neighbor to do a sociopathic fly by. Within a couple of minutes I heard the screen door open, and close. I waited a moment and opened it to find an “anonymous” note complaining about something or another. At that point I laughed and prayed aloud thanking God for his blessings and calling out Satan for his feeble attacks, telling him I was onto his game and it would no longer have an effect on me. The attacks stopped at that point never to happen again. When we deny Satan his attacks, calling them out for what they are and as an interference in a life committed to Christ, he has to stop.
I share this story because I’ve often reflected that Satan’s favorite way to attack us and take our eye off of Christ is to play with and to our pride. It has been that way since the beginning. 4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. - Genesis 3.4-5 Satan was playing to Eve’s pride and vanity. In our growth as disciples, the most basic area where we are changed is moving from a focus on ourself and our flesh with its inclinations, towards a desire to be humbled before God seeking only to serve Him; becoming more Christ-like and less worldly. This is the constant war we wage between our flesh and our spirit.
St. Paul describes love, the opposite of pride in 1 Corinthians 13.4-7 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Psalm 10.4 directly contrasts pride and seeking God, 4 The wicked in his proud countenance does not seek God; God is in none of his thoughts.
All of which was brought to mind recently when someone behaved wrongly, in a manner contrary to humility and recognizing some good things I had done. Things in which I took great pride. We recently moved and in the process of getting our things out of the old place, the new people there “helped.” Things were done that were inconsiderate, some of our belongings were carelessly handled so they were either broken or discarded, and a garden project I had been working on was either forgetfully or thoughtlessly destroyed. While these actions were undoubtedly wrong, I was harboring quite a bit of anger and resentment at having been wronged. Praying about it, God spoke to my heart that there is a difference between someone’s behavior and actions, which we may label as right, wrong, or some other moral tag, and how we feel and react about it. It reminded me that oftentimes when we have a negative reaction to some event or perceived slight, the empirical issue is one of our pride have been affronted. Something that we placed value on, aside from God, was disrespected, dishonored, or otherwise devalued. Our negative feelings then manifest in defense of that thing we are proud of.
Teaching in Matthew 8.39-42 the Lord says, 39 But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40 If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. 41 And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. 42 Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. A fine teaching on not taking offense.
People are people. We all suffer the awareness of our own mortality and desire to protect and possess. But contrast those worldly affections to the eternal hope we have in Christ, the things of this world are meaningless. Our attachment to them, is a reminder and proof of further work we need to do in moving our lives from the attentions of the flesh to the better and higher things of God.
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